All expectant mothers are to be given a one-off payment of around £120 that they will be encouraged to spend on fresh fruit and vegetables as a way of protecting their children from diseases and incurable conditions later in life.
The feckless will spend it on lager or put it towards a larger plasma TV, those non-feckless who already buy fruit and veg will continue to do so and spend the money in Mothercare, the remainder will spend it as they see fit. The one thing you can be pretty sure about is that it will make damn-all difference to the amount of fruit and veg consumed by pregnant women. I wonder if you can claim the money then ask for an abortion ? I bet you can, because the first few months are the most important from a nutritional perspective. BPAS will be asking its 'clients' "have you claimed your £120 ?".
Sources told The Observer that the government accepts that some of the 630,000 women who become pregnant each year may choose not to spend the money on healthy food.
Alas there's only one suitable expression. No s***, Sherlock ?