Behavioural psychologists found that female chimps mate with the males that give them the most fruit, while male chimps steal "desirable" fruits such as papaya from farms and orchards in a bid to woo potential mates. Oranges, pineapples and maize are among the most sought after crops, with bananas proving far less popular.
The scientists also discovered that the chimp that gathered the most fruit in the "food-for-sex" trade received more grooming from females than the group's alpha male.
Well blow me down, who would have expected it etc etc.
In the immortal words of Mrs Merton "tell me Debbie, what first attracted you to the diminutive multimillionaire ?"
For readers of the LRB
49 minutes ago